Bite Sized Chunks

(Just so you know, I titled this post after writing it and now I’m craving fun size Snickers.  But its not about that.)

I assume, unfairly maybe, that you know I quit my job this summer.  I promise I will spill the tea on exactly how that went down at some point soon.  Spoiler alert:  it was not dramatic and they were very understanding about me leaving.  Sorry, weak tea. Anyways, I quit my job to focus on Yubi full time and it is a delight.  I get less sleep than ever, I haven’t made it to the gym in literally forever, and I’m at all hours glued to my phone or my computer.  Living the dream!

One of the upsides of this change is that I get to spend more time with my littles and do it in little bite-sized chunks of time.  I used to block off the hours between 6 – 8 pm for family time,  which was nice but felt somewhat…forced?  And like, you’d feel a little guilty because after work you really just want to…chill?  Alone?  With a bag of Doritos and Netflix? And maybe not have intense family time right away?  And if you have kids, you know that those evening hours are not necessarily their most charming, talkative, cooperative hours of the day.  #Understatement.

Now, as the Bawse, I’m able to grab little pockets of time with my babies.  Lola and I have 20 minutes of playing “babies” in the morning.  The game goes like this:  we push her pretty doll and a raggedy stuffed dog around the house in strollers.  She always gives me the dog and the stroller with the wobbly wheel.  Its pretty much the same everyday.  Sometimes we break for cookies.

There are other pockets, too.  A run to target at 3:50 PM to pick up gummy candies, home photoshoot props, popcorn and other absolute essentials is an opportunity for bonding.  The kids and I linger in the cosmetics section looking at packaging and make up stories about passerby.  A mental health break at 11 AM with Lola brings a mini nature walk in the yard.  Or more often, a quick episode of Gumball on Cartoon Network.  Because we are cultured.

When I get weird and bleary eyed from over exposure to social media, my babies take me on little nature walks.  Short and sweet, fresh air and giggles.  Yes, some fighting and fussing because they are kids.  But mostly just good good good.

I’m also finding that these little bits of time bring more intense conversations and more meaningful chances for me to teach them important things.  On our 30 minute drive home from school, I play edited versions of classic East Coast hip hop to combat some of the nonsense Wynn is learning about music.  A breakthrough yesterday: Wynn asked me to hit repeat on “Kick in the Door” by Biggie.  My heart raised a fist and nodded its head and I bumped it on vol 9.

I’m finding I enjoy time with my kids more in these natural pockets.  Who knows how it will change as Yubi –  and my kids – grow.  But for now, I’m grabbing these moments and letting them melt on my tongue slow, savoring time with my babies while I can.  And in ways I couldn’t before.  Even if Yubi is not a smashing bashing success (*hyperventilates*) it has opened the door to the relationship with my kids that had long been out of reach.  And for that I am so grateful.